Sunday, January 31, 2010

An experience of interpersonal conflict - Edited with solution!

It was a group interview I recently attended for a particular programme. After we had a round of self-introductions, we were split into two groups to tackle a hypothetical scenario. Each group was given twenty-five minutes to come up with a solution to the scenario's problems.

My group took about fifteen minutes before reaching a conclusion. With about ten minutes left, I was certain that the ideas were finalized and I was running them through my mind. Then came the unexpected, a member from each group was called out and their positions were swapped.


When the new member arrived, I said, "Perhaps we should do a quick run-through of the presentation and ideas." A briefing was conducted almost immediately. As soon as the briefing ended, the new member, Mr. A (for anonymity), began to share with us his views on the matter. Confusion began as he tried to convince the group to change the agreed course of action. He felt strongly that the group should adopt his ideas. However, I believed his ideas could not be incorporated into what had been agreed upon because there wasn't sufficient time. Moreover, the acceptance of the idea would have been a lack of general knowledge. For instance, he mentioned a pistol, which requires combustion, would be of high importance on the moon as a means of signalling. However, I believed combustibles were ineffective on an oxygen-deprived location. The other group members also maintained their stand on the original ideas. There was a clash of perspectives.


There were five minutes left. Our group initially required at least fifteen minutes before arriving at a conclusion. There was a new member who was not ready to adopt the group's decision. The group was seemingly upset about this conflict of ideas coupled with being hard-pressed for time. In addition, Mr. A would not concur with the group's reasoning until he managed to put across his ideas. However our group would not have enough time to analyse the problem from Mr. A's perspective. Furthermore, it was an interview to demonstrate one's capability in a corporate setting, which was a possible reason behind Mr. A's steadfast attitude when conveying his ideas to the rest. The rest of the group probably intended to display synergy and teamwork. On the contrary, Mr A. probably intended to display influence and leadership. Our conflicting objectives in the interview were the likely source of our interpersonal conflict.

In this situation, what would you do to resolve the conflict? How would you respond to Mr. A and the other group members? (In my opinion, Mr. A is outspoken and steadfast in his views)

RESOLVED:

With five minutes left on the clock and a difficult person to convince, our team made the decision to not give in to his suggested changes. The reason was simply a lack of time to alter the course of action we have decided upon. Mr. A was seemingly unhappy at first, but finally accepted the group decision.

The way I chose to resolve the conflict was to explain the practical reasons to Mr. A. Not all situations can tap on using practical reasoning with little or no consideration for another person's feelings. But I think in this situation where time is short, emotions should be suppressed to a certain extent in order to facilitate team work. Moreover, we should not compromise a team effort just for the reason of displaying one's ability to convince and lead. These were the reasons for me taking a practical approach.

Perhaps the way I work could be better improved to consider the feelings of my teammates. However, I find it difficult to accomodate everybody's feelings when it comes to team work. As such, the seemingly easy way out is to adopt a stern and practical approach.

Expecting myself to take up leadership roles in the future, resolving interpersonal conflict will be one of my top priorities, in terms of training the said skill. I am starting to see how leading can be difficult, especially in resolving interpersonal conflicts. But I am willing to learn.



8 comments:

  1. Hi Kian Leong!

    In my opinion, in such a situation, it is important to practise self-regulation and manage your feelings; indeed, time is running out, but getting frustrated at the lack of understanding from the new member, will only make the situation worse. Furthermore, concentrating on the feelings rather than the problem at hand, will probably lead to a rash decision, which would ultimately affect the whole group.

    After bearing in mind the need to manage your feelings, I think that what you can do is to remind the group that this is a group project/presentation, and given the fact that time is running out, all of you should agree upon a common stand and support it for the better good of everyone. Once everybody can agree to this, each person can then be given 30 seconds to decide by themselves which stand they want to support and the votes be counted. The rest of the time should then be spent trying to tie up all loose ends and decide on how to present the commonly-decided stand, etc.

    If the group had decided against the idea of the new member, perhaps after the interview, you could speak to him/her privately. Let him know that the conflict was nothing personal; you do understand that he may have his own point of view, and you respect that, but time did not permit him and the group to debate over the issue due to time constraints. By doing this, you would be practising the principle of empathy and this is important in ensuring that the relationship/friendship would not be spoilt in the process (you will never know if you would need to work with him or meet him again in future).

    This is my suggestion on how to handle such a situation. From your last sentence, I deduced that the conflict was resolved (and I am glad to hear that). How did you do it?

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  2. Hi Kian Leong,

    It sounded like a tough interview! From your post, it gave me the feeling that you managed to manage your feeling and remained very calm. I salute you for that! I wouldn’t be able to do the same. My mind will be in turmoil if I were in such interview and if such situation were to happen.

    I do agree with Jolene that getting stressed up at the lack of compromising by the new member to your groups’ plans will not help the situation much.

    If I were in this interview, I think I will panic and feel lost as to what to do during the sudden change in group mate during the last few crucial minute. Similar to what you did, I would start by briefing Mr. A about our initial plans, trying to influence him to adopt it. I will then give him a chance to advice on the plan or give his opinions. When Mr. A insists on his idea despite the logical reasoning my group gave him, I would let him know that this is a group effort. In additional, it will not reflect well on anyone of us, if we are unable to come up with a conclusive answer and present it confidently. If a consensus is unable to be reached still, I would accept part of his proposed plan and try to fit in into my groups’ initial plan. We would then present on the sub-combined plan. I feel that it is important to show the interviewer that within minutes, the whole group is able to come up with a conclusive plan and present it well.

    Personally, I feel that Mr. A may have his own set of thinking. His actions gave me a feeling that he is trying very hard to ensure that he can get through this interview. If he succeeds in influencing your group to adapt to his plans, he is showing that he is influential. Within minutes, he is able to change your groups’ plan, which was discussed by your group in the past fifteen minutes. I wouldn’t blame Mr. A for how he performed as in any interview, everyone will try their very best to show off their ability and strengths.

    Hope you can get through the interview!

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  3. Dear Kian Leong,

    To answer the 2 questions -

    1) When Mr.A was first introduced into the group, I would first welcome him and sync him in. This may against the principle of efficiency but as I maintain, it is probably far more important to make him feel at home and in-sync with what is going on. While it may seem like a waste of time, it may potentially have saved future trouble.

    2) When the situation did get bad, I would have picked the option of letting him take lead and then adding my points in addition to his as an alternate point of view. The reason I would let him take lead is to test his confidence in his ideas and if he is indeed confident, I'd be happy to let him do his thing.

    As the quote goes - 'Overprepare, and then go with the flow'

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  4. Hey Kian Leong,

    I can only imagine the sense of frustration you would have been going through at that point of time. I am however split at the course of action which I would do.
    I agree with what Jolene has proposed that it is important to keep one’s emotions in check in such a situation. Just because the situation is chaotic, it still does not grant you the right to be angry and “fiery” as well. It is rather true that one is unable to think straight when one is emotionally comprise. Decisions made hastily and in anger often result in disasters!
    However, I think it would be unwise to give him the lead as what Rohan has suggested. I believe that this interview is an important interview and entrusting so much into an outsider is a rather risky move to make. Should the outsider’s plan fail, the entire group would be put into jeopardy as the decision would be seen as a group decision.
    The course of action which I would take would be to allow the new member to voice his opinions, and than subjecting the group to a vote to accept the suggest course of action. By allowing the new member to voice his opinion, you are showing that you respect his ideas and are open to new insides at the case. A group vote would show how much the group believes in his ideas, and perhaps he would be better convinced that his idea may not work.
    It is better to help a person arrive at his own conclusion which is identical to yours, than force him to do so.

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  5. Hi Kian Leong,

    With a few minutes remaining, such last minute arrangement can only spells trouble. I will definitely panic but will still force myself to focus on the task ahead.

    Like you mentioned, even aft Mr. A presented his ideas, your group still felt that the original idea was better. This would be respectful to Mr. A as his ideas were heard. Well, the fact remains that the majority still prefer the original idea even though Mr. A insists that he had a better idea. After which, I will spend the remaining time to explain to him that due to time constraint as well as the majority preference, we will have to reject his ideas. I’m sure, if there can be a possibility to integrate the ideas, your group would definitely gladly accept the integration. From your description, it seems integration of both ideas were impossible.

    From your post, I also feel that Mr. A is a strong headed person hence I will suggest using a firm tone to make him accept the majority idea. I’m sure you will have no choice but to remove any space for discussion due the circumstances you had.

    Furthermore, no one can be absolutely sure of the answer to the hypothetical scenario given to all the groups. The only way to know if the proposed solution is workable will be by experimentation but luckily the scenario is a hypothetical one! With that in mind, it brings me to a point that any decision is better than no decision. The majority agreed idea shouldn’t be that bad and I’m sure it is definitely logical enough to answer the hypothetical scenario.

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  6. This is a very interesting conflict situation, Kian Leong, even though it's a bit long. This example also shows an emerging trend: the group interview. The fact that it comes from an interview experience makes it especially pertinent in our class. Still, it might have been easier for readers to grapple with this if you had kept the question focused to one.

    I look forward to reading the resolution.

    Thanks for sharing!

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  7. To Jolene

    Thank you for your comments!

    Definitely I'll agree with you that self-regulation is important. Time is already short, letting the frustration take over our thoughts will only rub salt into the wound.

    I also like your idea of approaching him after the interview. It'd be nice to clarify any misunderstandings before it becomes too difficult to handle.

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    To Emily

    Thank you for your comments!

    To be honest, my mind was almost blank during the interview. Perhaps it was due to this that I managed to remain calm. Its a double-edged sword.

    Regarding him wanting to be influential, I believe in putting one's idea across, but definitely not forcing others to believe with you. I would agree with you no one's to be blamed for any unpleasant approach taken during the interview.

    P.S. The interview was really tough, and I don't think I got through it.

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    To Rohan,

    Thank you for your comments!

    I agree with your first point; forming synergy in the group would be nowhere a disadvantage.

    But regarding your second point, the reason we didn't want him to press on with his ideas (after listening to them) was because he had overlooked certain technical aspects of the question posed. We believed this could be a potential major mistake.
    As much as he was confident, he had deviated from the context of the question posed, in which not correcting him would only reflect poor teamwork.

    Lastly, I get what you meant by testing his confidence. It is definitely one of the good strategies to adopt. However, being pressed for time, I suppose we couldn't have weighed the potential in each strategy. But I am glad to learn of a new way to cope with a situation. Thank you Rohan!

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    To Joshua,

    Thank you for your comments!

    I like your suggestion of the vote. In fact, voting was what we had done (democracy in action)!

    But we didn't vote in a dramatic way. I was a quick question on each situation. For instance we come to the first problem, are you guys ok with with this(idea)? After hearing three yes from three different voices, we adopt that course of action. There wasn't enough time for the one who disagreed to explain his thoughts. That was the unfortunate part since communication probably broke down.

    I'd say I identify with the majority rule, that is why I like it.

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    To Godwin,

    Thank you for your comments!

    To be honest, I'd try to avoid removing any space for discussions. It is always good to listen to everyone's opinion. However, after thinking about this situation for some time, I realised there was no group leader or at least someone who could take the lead and that formed the basis of the conflict. I think a mediator could still act like a leader nonetheless. But in the end, with only about five minutes, it was difficult to integrate his ideas, hence we had to reject his ideas. In short, having a leader will smoothen the process of bringing him insync with the group and leading him to joining with the voted decision.

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  8. To Brad,

    I agree that keeping to one question would be better. I'll be working on the edited version. Thank you Brad!

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